Empyre: Captain America #2 Review

Writer: Philip Kennedy Johnson

Artist: Ariel Olivetti & Rachel Rosenberg

Letterer: VC’s Ariana Maher

Cover: Mike Henderson & Nolan Woodward

Release Date: August 12, 2020

Price: $3.99USD

Picking up straight after the events of Empyre: Captain America #1, Cap and his ragtag group of soldiers are fighting the good fight against the Cotati in San Antonio, until the combined Kree/Skrull Air Force fly in and make a mess of things, and kill some humans in the process. Grab your Werther’s originals, ‘cuz Grampa Cap spins a yarn of when the Nazis defeated him in France by using radioactive goop, then get ready for some red hot Posturing by the heads of state at NATO headquarters. Trade blockades in the Phantom Menace? You ain’t seen anything yet! Let’s dive in and get some details.

We catch up with Cap and his kooky quartet in San Antonio, probably eating some Tex Mex and seeing where David Robinson’s jersey was retired, holding their own against the Cotati ground forces when right on cue the combined Kree/Skrull artillery come in and blast a bunch of buildings (and killing some humans for good measure) before Cap tells them to knock it off. We’re then reminded that a giant Cotati creature “of tree and stone” (Stone? That’s not a plant. Anyway) and this thing is big. Big as a moon, The Skrull/Kree tells us later, but it only looks as tall as a big building in the art. Something is wonky somewhere! At any rate, it’s heading towards Mexico City, near a fault line. That could be bad news!

Check out our Empyre #5 Video Review

General Woodley – the very same General last issue who gave Cap the what for asking for extra troops, then was violated in a most unsexy way by a sentient spore- is en route to NATO headquarters, and promises Cap an army to fight the Cotati. Better late than never!

Even though no one really asked, Grampa Cap then tells us the story of when he got a bunch of his troops killed when he was stuck in radioactive tar. True Story! Apparently, Bennet might want to hear this story for some unknown reason, so they find Bennett sticking his stalk where it doesn’t belong. Oh my! Suddenly they realize that if Bennett was acting funny, then General Woodley must also be acting funny! They jet off to NATO HQ, where we get to witness the nonstop action of heads of state debating and talking politics before the General erupts into spores. He’s fought off, and Cap unites all NATO nations (in one panel) to work together. Meanwhile, the Kree/Skrulls have a special weapon of some kind that could just end this whole thing but inexplicably decide not to use it.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

You might remember I did like the first issue quite a lot but said “If you were reading this for a nice little Cap story, you’ll like it. BUT if you were reading this as some sort of Empyre necessity? Don’t bother.” Well, this issue is pointless as a Cap story and an Empyre tie-in. The story could have been told in a few panels in the main Empyre title, but we get a whole lot nothing. The art is good enough, the coloring is also quite good, but anything of the remotest of substance is pointlessly dragged out just to fill up the page count. The bottom line: you can completely skip this issue and be just fine.

4.0/10

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