X-Terminators #3 Review

Written by: Leah Williams
Art by: Carlos Gómez
Colors by: Bryan Valenza
Letters by: VC’s Travis Lanham
Cover art by: Federico Vicentini, Matt Milla
Cover price: $3.99
Release date: November 30, 2022

X-Terminators #3 continues the world’s weirdest Girls’ Night Out with more glass-breaking, vampire-killing, boob-punching(?) action than you’d ever expect in a single comic. Whether that’s good or bad is up to you.

Is It Good?

X-Terminators #3 doesn’t make any sense. Admittedly, it probably isn’t supposed to, nor do I think any of the creators care if it does or doesn’t. It’s loud, obnoxious, irreverent shenanigans, and if that’s all you want, that’s exactly what you’ll get.

The plot doesn’t make sense, but let’s give it a go. When last we left Dazzler, Boom-Boom, Jubilee, and X-23, they were busy fighting their way through a mirror maze where a single glance at your reflection creates an enemy doppelganger of yourself. The only solution is to fight blindfolded until they can find a better solution to escape the maze with magically unbreakable walls. Oh, and vampires are hunting the ladies in the maze while a huge crowd of vampires watches for amusement.

None of the ladies acts as if they’re in any real danger. Boom-Boom’s boobs are explosive… literally. Jubilee punches Boom-Boom’s ample boobs for fun, naturally. There’s much talk about the size of Dazzler’s ass. And well, you get the idea. This entire story is treated as if it’s one big goof, both by the characters and the creators.

Do the characters sound like themselves, canonically speaking? No, of course not. Are the jokes funny? Maybe in a low-brow, tasteless kind of way that probably only appeals to single, adult women who drink too much wine and refer to their plethora of cats in their one-bedroom apartment as their “children.” Will this series be remembered after it’s done? Probably yes, but in the same way you remember puking at your senior prom because somebody spiked your punch with rancid vodka. You’ll forever remember the taste of it… and shudder.

Surprisingly, the art is quite good. Say what you will about this nonsense excuse of a story, but Gómez and Valenza are doing the Lord’s work on art duty. The action is explosive (again, literally), the character designs are fun if you can get past the ridiculous taste in fashion, and the overall art quality is simply excellent. Why Marvel decided to waste Gómez and Valenza’s talents on this throwaway title is a mystery.

About The Reviewer: Gabriel Hernandez is the Publisher & EIC of ComicalOpinions.com, a comics review site dedicated to indie, small, and mid-sized publishers.

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Bits and Pieces

X-Terminators #3 defies expectations. It’s a comic that’s nothing but noise, nonsense, and nattering in the middle of big action. There are no stakes, there’s no dramatic tension, and the characters’ voices all sound the same. Thankfully (or not), nobody seems to care, so if you want to spend the full cover price for a goof of a comic, this one may just be for you.