Writer: Al Ewing, Dan Slott
Artist: Valerio Schiti
Cover Price: $4.99
Release Date: July 22, 2020
The Empyre Even is underway, and I said in my review for the first issue that I am not on board just yet. I need something to click. I need something to make me care enough to buy 30+ issues, and the preludes and the #1 didn’t get me there yet. I thought the Cotati twist (the next summer dance craze!) was interesting, but it didn’t get me that pumped up. However, did the fallout from the twist do the trick? Let’s see…
After a quick open that seems like help is late to arrive, we go off to the moon to find out how the Avengers are doing. To put it simply, not so good! They are Quoi’s prisoner and part of a meat garden (yum) that has them hanging on the vine while we all have to sit through page after page of exposition. Maybe Slott and Ewing want to make the reader feel as if they are prisoners as well! There were numerous times in this issue where I was looking for any way to escape the boredom!
Empyre #1 started up recap heavy, but I can understand that since it was a #1, some readers will jump on with no prior knowledge. It continues this week, though, and slams the breaks on any momentum the twist had going in, and that’s a damn shame. Plus, every time an editor’s notes called out Incoming #1, I shook my head and wondered if Ewing only cared about making that story feel bigger.
The Avengers eventually get free (why does Thor have two good arms and two good eyes?), so we move to the Fantastic Four, Hulkling, and the Kree/Skrull ship. After another long, drawn-out scene that didn’t quite jive as logically as Reed Richards might want to think, we get a new status quo for Captain Marvel and a cliffhanger that seems important but is just words at this point. After this snoozefest of an issue, I am no longer looking for something to get me excited to buy 30+ issues, but anything to keep me from dropping this “event” right now!
I don’t know how many times I can say it, but here I go again, this book is boring! The pacing is way off, and for an Event that is pushing the destruction of everything we know and love, I could care less. The characters themselves don’t seem to care much as they stand around, chatting with each other and bringing up stuff from Incoming #1. Even the most significant moments of the issue fall flat thanks to the script’s wordiness, and really, the overall story so far is just a dud. I thought the art was great, but even that couldn’t keep me interested. If you are like me, You may need to put on a pot of coffee to get through this one.
I went into this issue looking for AL Ewing and Dan Slott to convince me to buy the 30+ issues of this Empyre Event, but after Empyre #2, they now will have to convince me not to drop this whole thing outright. The story is not exciting, and even the big moments fall flat since the pacing makes it all a slog to get through. It’s like watching grass grow, and that isn’t thrilling anywhere, not even on the moon!